I am down here in Desert Hot Springs California, soaking up some incredible warmth from the water, with my brain a tad bit boiling, and some insights came dancing through me:
There are three aspects of awakening in divine love, bliss, and freedom:
The first, in my humble opinion, is the personal aspect. I have to be committed to my own awakening, even if all those around me flounder in suffering. In other words, unhealthy codependency has to be released. I cannot simply resign myself to a life of suffering and misery because I don’t want to leave anyone behind.
It is like a fierce spiritual selfishness – a commitment to live, be, embody, and express my highest love – regardless of how that may affect other people, or if those I love also make the same commitment.
I need to make a bee-line to the divine and let other people make their own decisions. Live and let live.
Delving into the first aspect, I inevitably must face some profound loneliness.
Then, the second aspect, after I have taken my sword and chopped off the energetic limbs of codependency, is to offer my own awakening process to the greater awakening of others – but in an impersonal, non-enmeshed way.
In the end, my awakening process is not about me. If I allow myself to be swallowed up by spiritual narcissism, then my ego and shadow will have me pinned to the mat without me even knowing it.
And third, it is also easy to fall into the savior-ego trap. This is where the ego masquerades as our highest spiritual ambitions, but ultimately, it simply wants to aggrandize itself. It wants to be special, gain lots of approval, and then the shadow takes hold and all kinds of unsavory events can unfold. And it has a keen ability to place the chloroform of self-deception over our eyes.
I can’t find the exact quote, but Carl Jung said something like this: at the beginning stages of a spiritual or psychic awakening, when lots of psychic and spiritual energy is being released, if the shadow is not directly dealt with and unearthed — then all that released energy will go into serving the shadow.
This is evident in all different types of spiritual communities where sexual and emotional abuse take place. Plenty of examples abound.
So, there are my insights — 1) I need to be committed to my own awakening process even if my family, friends, community, country, and planet do not join me, and 2) Once I cross that threshold, then my awakening process is offered to serve the awakening of others and the world, and 3) I need to be mindful and wary of spiritual pride and ego taking hold, and carrying me on hallucinations of grandeur.
I don’t pretend to have these three aspects mastered, but I am grateful that the hot water I am immersed in has helped reveal the insights.
Photo credit: Renee Bohmer via Unsplash